Iyasu's Metaphysical Cleanse

100% RESPONSIBILITY

Being a Metaphysical Intuitive Healer is so interesting because I am privy to information people typically keep to themselves. I create a safe space for my clients to emote and express themselves when participating in a Metaphysical Cleanse. One thing people talk about in great detail is their relationships. I’ve spent hundreds of hours listening to clients explain the challenges they’ve had with partners, family, friends and co-workers. Relationship issues causing anger and resentment stem from people not taking responsibility for their behavior and their commitments. In addition to not owning what is theirs, they also tend to blame the other person for the chaos they create with their behavior and words.

This is relatable because we all have dealt with someone who avoids looking at him/herself to a certain extent (and because many of us do this as well). I am empathetic as I understand how challenging it can be to honestly face oneself and one’s shadow side. This is the side of us that we keep in the dark, hidden away from our day to day conscious awareness. People avoid these parts of themselves because it will cause too much emotional pain to admit they are not perfect, or the good guy (or gal), or the realization they cause others pain with their behavior. Sooner or later this catches up with us, thus making this type of avoidance unsustainable. When we deny the parts of us that cause others emotional pain it can show up in our bodies as physical dysfunction, we can lose our relationships, encourage addiction issues and we find ourselves deeply unhappy.

How can we choose to take responsibility for our behavior and our lives?

            We do so by understanding that how we live our lives affects more than just ourselves. The reason we begin to grow (or not) as human beings, begins in our conscious mind. Our minds can aid us and contribute greatly to the growth of humankind – think: Mary Jane Seacole, Sadako Sasaki, Marie Curie, Marie Stopes, Mother Theresa, Emmeline Pankhurst, Akiko Yosano, to name a few. These women took risks by confronting the conventional beliefs of their time. They were free and independent thinkers who lead with their convictions based on what they believed to be true and correct. All of these women were able to do so because they believed in the truth of who they were – strong, powerful, emotional, creative, connected and conscious love.

How did these and other women like them create change in the world?

They understood that their strong minds created actions that impacted others. Whether they were aware of the collective consciousness or not, they certainly tapped into it. You can as well! What does this mean exactly? Let me give you an example…look at your hand. Do you see how it looks like your fingers are separate from one another but they are actually connected to your whole hand? This is what is looks like to be part of the collective consciousness. We are all connected to each other and when we send out hate and anger to someone who has hurt us, we ourselves are being affected by what we are projecting outward. Likewise, when we send out love and forgiveness, this comes back as well. Mahatma Gandhi said, “You must be the change you want to see in the world”. Brilliant guy, and so very right on. We won’t get anywhere within ourselves, our relationships or as a society if we continue to blame each other and not take responsibility for what we bring to the table. Imagine what our world, and personal lives, would look like if each one of us began taking 100% responsibility for our behavior, our words, our commitments, and our thinking. I believe we would attain peace, respect (self and other), gratitude, and love on a global level.

Let’s take it one step further.

Have you heard the expression “Like attracts like?” Perhaps you have seen when you were feeling insecure and scared, others with similar feelings entered your life (although the “issues” don’t necessarily show up in the same way for both people). We see this quite often in relationships because what we feel creates a certain energetic vibratory frequency[1]. This frequency is not visible to the eye, however, we naturally draw to us other people who are also vibrating at this frequency. It is the same with disease. Certain illnesses vibrate at a frequency and there are scientific studies that focus on why vibrational frequency healing works[2]. Do you know why when we are in a relaxed state of calm or even meditation we have a feeling of wellness? Likewise when we are stressed out, have shallow breathing and feel afraid, we tend to feel unwell? This is not a coincidence but the principles of energetic vibratory frequency at work[3]. (Please note that much of my assertions here are based on clinical observations I have made over the past 23 + years. My work is based in the energetic fields of the body. I also believe if something hasn’t been proven scientifically (yet) it does not discount the validity or presence of it. Further, the metaphysical work I offer helps the client to engage and affect their own vibratory states on a mental, emotional and spiritual level, each having different vibrational frequencies.)

Now that we’ve worked that out, let’s get back to how taking 100% responsibility for our life can create health, well-being and love in our lives. Let’s say that you are in a relationship and are not happy. You either live with the situation or you choose to leave. Naturally you are upset because things didn’t work out the way you had expected or hoped. Perhaps the other person treats you badly and the behavior appears to be personal to you. Right here is where you have a choice. You can either embrace a victim mentality or you can take 100% responsibility for what belongs to you. Embracing a victim mentality will encourage feelings of defeat, disappointment, anger, sadness, resentment, martyrdom, worthlessness, disempowerment and will keep you on a negativity hamster wheel. When you take 100% responsibility for what is in your life, you own that you made the choice to partner with this person. You said yes and accepted whatever came with your agreement. Chances are, there were red flags that you either didn’t see at the time or chose not to see. When we take responsibility for our choices then we are in a much better position to learn from the ones that didn’t bring us what we desire.

Let me share an example: a friend of mine married her best friend, someone she had known for over 25 years. Even though they were together for the last 7 years of the 25, she felt she knew him well. At first, he was kind and accommodating. As soon as they moved in together, he insisted that things were set up the way he wanted. She told him she needed to have her children’s photos protected since they were in cardboard boxes. He insisted they be stored outside since he didn’t want them taking space inside, and she had to fight him to keep them indoors (red flag #1). He wanted everything clean and out of sight but she needed to keep the vitamins she used daily on the counter and had to fight to keep them there. Despite her protestations, he still moved them without asking her permission (red flag #2). As time went on, she had to keep fighting to get more and more of what she needed. She chose to leave after a couple years because she was tired of fighting. Also, her gut was telling her something was very wrong. Two weeks after she left, she found out he had been stealing money from their joint account and never disclosed he had a criminal history. This shocked her because they had known each other for 25 years and he claimed that she knew everything about him. During the divorce proceedings, more and more information came out that he had lied and cheated her. At first, she was very angry and resentful. Then she blamed herself for not knowing that he was like this. She felt stupid and duped. Over time she took responsibility for what was hers (overlooking the red flags, choosing to partner with him, not looking at the bank accounts and understanding where the money was going), and did not take on what belonged to him (his bullying attitude, criminal ways, lying, cheating and stealing).

In this example if she chose to stay in victim mode, she would continue feeling angry, resentful (possibly for years) and most likely would attract another partner with a similar personality. Instead, she chose to look at what she accepted and where she allowed herself to be bullied. She learned self-compassion, self-worth and self-love by participating in Iyasu’s Metaphysical Cleanse. After completing the exercises and watching the videos, she realized she was worthy of being with a partner who cared about the quality of her life as much as his own. Today she is re-married to a wonderfully supportive and healthy man and has never been happier!

Taking 100% responsibility for how your life looks today is a key component to this Metaphysical Cleanse. You will be asked to review yourself honestly and avoid hiding from the parts of yourself that are uncomfortable and hard to look at. When we look at our humanness as honestly as we are able, we begin to have compassion for ourselves by understanding the origin of our emotional pain. No one is perfect and forcing the ideals of perfectionism will only delay our process of healing. It is much better to understand our present thinking, behavior, emotions, and where we self-sabotage our happiness.

“When we can see it, we can change it!”
~ Rochelle Orion

As my dear friend (and powerful healer) Rochelle so aptly puts it, we can change what we can see. I am a firm believer that when we look honestly at what we are responsible for, without self-judgment, we can make new changes going forward. We are human beings doing the best we can with what we believe to be true in that moment. Change within occurs when we fully own what is ours and use the information that our experiences mirror back to us. By detaching from our behavior and viewing it as helpful feedback, we can maturely choose a different behavior. We choose how we live our lives. Although it is not easy to make a new choice, it literally is that simple.

[1] https://phys.org/news/2016-10-scientists-effects-infrasonic-vibrations-humans.html

[2] http://blackhealth.co.uk/vibrational-frequencies-of-foods-and-disease/

[3] https://wakeup-world.com/2011/07/12/scientist-prove-dna-can-be-reprogrammed-by-words-frequencies/

Nurture Your Vulnerable Self

 “She held herself until the sobs of the child inside subsided entirely.

I love you, she told herself.

It will all be okay.”

 —H. Raven Rose, Shadow Selves

I can guide my clients to fully self-heal only if we work together with their vulnerable self (aka our inner child). Discovering and healing our vulnerable self can be the most touching, special, profound, and challenging work we will ever engage in. Living and growing as human beings can be such an interesting experience. As children, we control very little. It can be frightening to grow up in a family that feels unsafe. (We can also grow up feeling unsafe even if we didn’t experience abuse or violent trauma.)

Many family dynamics can cause us to feel unsafe. Here’s a short list: if our parents fight with each other (either outwardly or through passive-aggressive behavior); if caregivers judge us harshly; if we don’t feel loved or accepted or if ignored and left alone too often; if we grow up in families with addiction; if we experience or witness abusive behavior; if we grow up in families with depression and anxiety; if we have an emotionally or physically unavailable caregiver . . . the list goes on.

Through a combination of my own inner child work and clinical experience with my clients, I have observed a connection between the unhealed vulnerable self and physical dysfunction as an adult. As children, we learn who we are by how others treat us. We don’t realize that our caretakers might also need to heal their own vulnerable self. We believe they know better than we do, and we take how they treat us or what they say as both valid and the truth. As a result, we often blame ourselves or feel unworthy. If we don’t learn to re-parent the little one inside us, we tend to create a cycle of unworthiness—we choose partners who treat us as our caregivers did and/or we end up in jobs with supervisors who mistreat us, and we believe that it is our fault because we believe we are unworthy. We feel unworthy, so we live from a perspective that perpetuates the cycle.

One of the main intentions behind creating this Metaphysical Cleanse focuses on helping people break this emotionally painful cycle, allowing us to heal our physical dysfunctions and to learn to live in joy, peace, and happiness.

Below is an example of one of my teaching concepts. Please don’t worry if a particular example doesn’t match with your own childhood experience. The important thing is to be willing to connect with your own vulnerable self in whatever way is meaningful to you.

Driving the Bus

In my work as a Metaphysical therapist, I often notice that when clients don’t heal their vulnerable self, the child ends up “driving the bus.” What does this mean exactly? Imagine you own a bus and five-year-old you takes charge of driving— would you consider this appropriate? Definitely not. If we haven’t connected to our younger parts (plural because many different ages require connection and healing), we often react unconsciously from a child’s perspective. The child inside us ends up driving our lives and directing its course. Imagine this child driving the bus with you in the passenger seat (along with all the younger versions of you at different ages)—that’s how most of us live when we (unknowingly) fail to heal and integrate our vulnerable self.

We often choose inappropriate partners because unconsciously something about them reminds us of our childhood caretakers, or an unhealthy relationship modeled in front of us. With our vulnerable self in the driver’s seat, we might feel (again unconsciously) that by choosing a partner who resembles our primary caretaker (who didn’t meet our needs) our new partner-caregiver will give us the love we always wanted—and then we will feel worthy and loved.

But do you see the problem? We often choose partners based on an unconscious immature and wounded image of what our “perfect” savior looks or feels like. Of course, it doesn’t usually work out the way we want and hope. And when our new love inevitably fails to live up to this ideal, we feel confused and hurt—often repeatedly picking similar people. Sometimes we have unrealistic expectations of current partners who lack the capacity or desire to love us the way we want. We cling to a misguided belief that the source of our happiness exists outside us. We believe that our hearts will be healed if only we can find “the one.” If you do believe this, I have some challenging news: No-one will ever heal our past wounds, love us in ways to help us feel worthy and loved, and make our past experiences all okay—because that can come only from within you.

Some of you might protest: “Wait a minute, Stephanie. That cannot be true. I know friends or family that do have that type of relationship and it does exist—what are you talking about?” Fair enough, so let me explain. Yes, people do fall in love and support and care for each other throughout their lives—but only when they both are healthy enough to sustain a healthy relationship. Relationships work because each partner takes responsibility for her or his own wounded past (including but not limited to healing their vulnerable self). Relationships work also because each partner cares about and commits to the wellbeing and growth of the other. The key to a successful relationship involves each partner taking responsibility to heal and integrate his or her own vulnerable self. In other words, the “ideal” we seek lies within us, not as some image we project onto our loved one. Trying to live up to someone else’s projection can sabotage any relationship.

Now for the good news: We can achieve the love we desire by re-parenting our vulnerable self. Ultimately, what we seek lies within. And, of course, our partner can support us as we do our inner work—and vice versa.

If any of the following sounds like something you have experienced, you may well benefit from healing your vulnerable self:

• Wanting our partner to behave a certain way so we feel comfortable within ourselves. For example, if I get mad because my partner doesn’t do something in the timeframe I expect, I impose my values and expectations on my partner. In short, I try to control them. Instead, once I ask my partner to do something and he/she accepts, I must let go of how and when it will be done. If I cannot do that, I must do it myself. If suggesting this brings up feelings of resentment and “I have to do everything myself,” then we need to look at the part of us that has to have everything done the way we want in the time we want.
• Perhaps your partner does not express their feelings, demonstrate love or appreciation as you would like. You might even go as far as issuing an ultimatum: your partner must demonstrate love as you expect, or else you cannot stay in the relationship. Well, that may be true; however I would suggest that you heal your vulnerable self before choosing to the leave the relationship. I understand that deal breakers do show up in relationships, but, most likely when you first chose to be together, your partner had exactly those qualities you now detest—in fact, if they (unconsciously) reminded you of one of your parents, the qualities or behaviors you now reject probably formed part (perhaps a major part) of your initial attraction. Now, you expect him/her to be different and this sets you both up to fail. This does not mean, however, you have to live without getting your needs met. My point: when you heal your vulnerable self your needs may change or you might be able to accept your partner for who they are.
• You may have an actual child you don’t understand or vice versa. Because of limited communication, you feel like you live with a cranky stranger. Even though we might want to impose stronger limits and rules onto a child like this, we might be reacting to our own childhood wounds. When we heal our vulnerable self, we can become a more understanding, effective and compassionate parent.
• Do you havea difficult and overly critical boss who has unrealistic expectations? It’s not pleasant to be around someone like this. Quite possibly, that job/boss is not a good fit for you. Before you quit, however, I would encourage you to participate in some internal healing. Chances are your boss possesses qualities that remind you of someone from your past. Allowing ourselves to see the gift of the trigger (see below) can bring up feelings that otherwise may lie dormant.
• Think aboutyour friendships: Who bugs or angers you? Now consider the possibility that he/she mirrors something in you that you would prefer to deny. For example, perhaps your friend likes things her own way, and tries to control everything. Now ask yourself: “What areas of life do I try to control?” If you didn’t also possess this quality (something about yourself that you dislike) your friend’s desire to control wouldn’t bug you as much. Instead, you might simply feel compassion for the challenges she creates by being controlling. Some friendships come and go, and others last a lifetime. I always encourage people to learn what they can about themselves before they let a friendship go. Often when we shift within ourselves, relationships we once considered unacceptable become acceptable, even enjoyable.

I could come up with many more examples, but these will help us to begin identifying where to focus our internal healing work. When I encourage clients to heal their vulnerable self, they often ask, “How do I do that?” Great question! It’s not as hard or daunting as it might seem.

I discuss the following topics in both my book and my sacred healing workshops:

• Identify your vulnerable self.
• Re-parent/redirect/reassure your vulnerable self.
• Sit in the discomfort of your vulnerable self’s feelings.
• Identify triggers from others—and learn to recognize the gift of the trigger.
• Use the “Healing Mirror” 
• Embrace grief and sorrow